Redneck Review

Monday, July 18, 2005

I'm A Loser. It's Official.

All right, I am officially a loser. As if there was ever any doubt.
Congratulations to Mr. Huggies, winner of Rebecca's Big Blogger
Contest. The final vote: Sheep on a Unicycle (301), Me (2583),
and Mr. Huggies (4002). I hope he puts the prize of absolutely
nothing to good use.

I could have won, you know. I had 4003 monkeys all set up to
click 4003 mice. I had promised them each a bite of Cheese
Sandwich. Then Cheese Sandwich came to an unfortunate end,
and was replaced by a Sheep on a Unicycle. My monkeys did
not want a bite of sheep. Whenever they thought of sheep, they
started counting, and 1420 monkeys fell asleep, just like in the
Wizard of Oz. I could have voted for myself 1420 times, but
that would have given me carpal tunnel syndrome and I could
not continue to put out such high-quality posts for you all to
enjoy--I mean tolerate--each day. So now I am a loser, and
Mr. Huggies has my nothing.

Thank you Deadpanann, for supporting me in my quest for the
Big Blogger title. I am sorry for stalking you, but it was all part
of the contest. Too bad I didn't have a stalker to run up the vote
for me. Thanks to the rest of you who helped my monkeys
vote. I could not have lost without you.

And now, I would like to share with you some quotes about
competition. I don't know who said them, but I heard them

"Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser."
"If a tie is like kissing your sister, then losing is like kissing your
grandma with her teeth out."
"It's not whether you win or lose....but whether I win or lose."
"If at first you don't succeed, find out if there's a prize for the loser."
"Second place is first loser."

OK...well, that didn't cheer me up very much. I need to find some
new motivational quotes. I feel like Charlie Brown. Can someone
please get me a scraggly little Christmas tree? Anybody? Anybody?


  • At 2:06 PM, Blogger Chris said…

    you could always cut a tree down from the backyard.

  • At 2:49 PM, Blogger deadpanann said…

    Awww....Just so you know I really did like your big blogger entries! They were extremely creative and always hilarious.

    Mr. Huggies must've had an army of monkeys to give him those 4000 votes. Either that or he voted for himself by clicking the mouse with his tongue, therefore eliminating the carpel tunnel factor. If he's that good with his tongue he deserves to win.

  • At 6:49 PM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Hillbilly Mom,
    I'm sorry you didn't win either. But the voters made their choice. How about you get the People's Choice Award for best overall entries.

  • At 7:39 PM, Blogger KarbonKountyMoos said…

    Hey HM - with as many folks out there who have a thing for sheep - you did damn good.

    I hate contests.

  • At 12:01 AM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    But will anyone hear it fall?

    According to Huggies, he didn't have monkeys, he had bugs. And that'll be enough of this mouse-tonguing talk. I have just gotten over the sheep incident.

    I didn't enter my overalls. Just my Lovely Green Shirt Jeannie.

    Those little wooly things do seem to be popular to the country folk, don't they?

  • At 2:36 AM, Blogger Huggies said…

    I think it has something to do with a computer bug clicking about 4000 times.

  • At 10:19 AM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    See, I should have spent my time on bugs instead of monkeys.


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