Redneck Review

Sunday, July 17, 2005

#1 Official Answers: What Would Rednecks Do?

Question: What would rednecks do with a possum that was "sleeping"
in the driveway all day?

Official Answers: Toss it in the neighbor's field OR throw it down the
sinkhole. Details can be found here.

The closest to the official answer was Chewy, who said "toss it next
door into the yard of the neighbors." Close, but no dead possum, was
Redneck Diva, who said "toss it out in the field." She also pointed out
that her husband would shoot it 47 times, even if it was already dead.

All answers this week were in the acceptable redneck range. Misha
said "shoot it and run over it a few times." I think she might have some
issues to work out. Rebecca must be one of those recycling fanatics
that lets no part of the possum go to waste, because she says to
"run over it, make grub and grits, and tan the hide to make a hat for jr."
My teaching-buddy-without-a-blog thinks this way too, as she e-mailed
her answer of "drive over it with a 4x4 until dead, skin it and tack the
hide to the barn door, and prepare a gourmet meal for hubby and little
ones." She watches Emeril, so I guess he cooked gourmet possum one
day.

Now I am a bit worried about the redneckness of Rachel, because
she said "bring it in as a pet, with a name and place to sleep, and give
it something to nibble on." While she claims to have redneck roots,
they must have been the black sheep of the rednecks, because the
only way rednecks would be so nice to a possum is if they were
fattening him up for a main course. Rachel, you are on double-secret
redneck probation. I will watch for your answer to next Saturday's
Redneck Quiz.

5 Comments:

  • At 1:08 AM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Hillbilly MOm,
    My Ganny use to make a great possum stew, so I guess that is where I got my answer from. I look forward to the next week of the quiz.
    HooRoo
    Bec

     
  • At 8:57 PM, Blogger deadpanann said…

    Did you really eat possum stew? Are you serious? I have a particularly redneck uncle who always talks about how tender and juicy possum can be, and how it's that much better if you hit it with a car/truck/tractor, but I always thought people were joking about eating possum. Did you really eat it?

     
  • At 10:48 PM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    HH says they sell whole possums at Soulard Market in St. Louis. He said somebody where he used to work told him that you could hunt possums and sell them to the market, but you had to leave the feet on them so the customers could be sure they weren't cats. I guess they skin them and have them all ready to cook, but with feet. Then you can just buy one on the way home and pop it in the oven, or chop it up for stew. I don't think Rebecca would mind if it was a cat. I hear she is not very fond of felines.

     
  • At 4:27 AM, Blogger Rachel Croucher said…

    I'm a bit worried about my redneckness as well, not only did I grow up in a hillbilly kind of town but my family background is a mixture of hillbillyness from various parts of the globe... mums background is 100% Irish from County Cork, and my father is half English on his father's side (Southampton) and Punjabi Indian on his mother's side (but he is a hillbilly local of town where I grew up)... sounds really interesting doesn't it? Not really! a hybrid of the fighting classes of the world

    I'm worried I might have been pissed when I replied what to do with the possum!

     
  • At 11:10 PM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    Remember, you're on double-secret redneck probation...No need to bring out the family tree yet. We'll see how you answer the next Redneck Challenge.

    I wonder, does possum go with a nice Chianti?

     

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