Redneck Review

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

We Are Rednecks. Any Questions? Posted by Picasa


This is our redneck barn. It was kind of pretty until Hillbilly
Husband decided to decorate it.

On the left, there is a plastic trash can, because you wouldn't just
want to throw trash down on the ground and de-beautify the area.

Beside the trash can is a riding lawn mower. Oh, it's not the one we
use to mow the yard. It's one of the two nonworking lawnmowers.
According to #1 son, this is the one that won't steer. I don't know
why we keep it. Maybe HH will hitch it behind the 4-wheeler and
mow the lawn that way. We had 3 nonworking lawnmowers, but
somebody stole one. Oh, the bad luck! Get away with stealing a
lawnmower, and then it won't work. Crime doesn't pay, kids. And
no, it wasn't the swinging bridge lawnmower that we lost in town.

Next we have the lovely handmade wooden doors, because we are
too cheap to get metal doors. They didn't look too bad until HH put
those license plates up. They are not even our license plates--he buys
them at flea markets. As long as he isn't stealing them off cars, I guess
it's OK. The inside of the door is badly scratched, because HH
forgot the dog in there overnight, and he tried to dig out.

We have the big "C" that HH got at work. "They were going to throw
it away!" And the homemade basketball goal. Yes, HH is a wizard
with wood. It used to be a plastic milk crate with no bottom, but
then he upgraded.

The most rednecky thing here is the bed of the Dean Truck. That's
the truck HH is "fixing up" as you can see. My stepgrandpa left it
to him, oh....about 7 years ago. In the bed is the hood, and some
other junk #1 son couldn't name. He is my authority (snitch) on all
things barn.

Under the right-hand lean-to is an air conditioning unit. Does it work?
What do you think? It has been there about 5 years, because one of
these days HH is going to hook it up so the barn will be cool for him
to "work" in. Yeah, it's not an animal barn. It's HH"s junk barn.

Last, we come to the grassless area in the foreground, which is the
"burning pile." Cause that's what rednecks do with their trash. Just
the paper and cardboard, though once he burned a box spring and
I don't know where it came from. Maybe he is hiding a life of crime.
And he used to burn the plastic coating off copper wire and then
sell the copper to the junk man known as "good buddy." He had
to give his name and address every time, because people get kind
of suspicious when you are trafficking in melted copper. I know
this was legit. They were tearing out the old wiring at his plant, and
gave it to him (woohoo!) to keep from paying to haul it off.

Next time: the inside of the redneck barn.

4 Comments:

  • At 12:32 AM, Blogger KarbonKountyMoos said…

    Uh oh - I decorated our shed with license plates. But they are our old ones. I can't wait to see inside!

     
  • At 12:48 AM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    You are looking more and more like a redneck, you know!

     
  • At 6:03 AM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Hillbilly Mom,
    He should have turned the "C" so it had the open end up, then told people it is a giant horse shoe.
    HooRoo
    Bec

     
  • At 11:23 AM, Blogger Redneck Diva said…

    Moos, beer in the W*M parking lot and now license plates decorating your shed? Honey, you may have slipped beyond the point of return. You're on the Redneck Superhighway now, girl.

     

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