My New Phone Line

Take a look at my new phone line. He's right purty, ain't he?
But doesn't he at least belong in a shallow grave? As you can
see, he runs right beside #1 son's $300-car-cruising-route.

Here's the scoop. Hillbilly Husband stayed home from work
due to his pneumonia and pre-MRI knee. (Please, please, please,
let him tell me he put on pants by 2:30 pm for the telephone man).
So he found out that there was indeed a problem with the outside
phone line. Everything was not just fine, as the SBC reps kept
telling me after "running a check."

First cat out of the bag (as HH likes to say), Phone Man found
out that there was a break in the line. HH immediately confessed,
"You should know that my son cut through the line when putting in
an electric line for me, and I spliced it with regular wire, not phone
wire." Everybody make a Note to Self: If I ever commit a crime,
do not ask HH to give me an alibi. This was HH's 24 year old son,
not our 10 year old. And it happened 2 years ago, with no phone
problems until now.

The line was cut through completely in a spot under some gravel,
which is where #1 son parks his $300 car between rides.
Apparently, the constant driving over the gravel caused the rocks
to sever the telephone line, even though HH had enclosed it in metal
conduit. It is really the fault of SBC, who originally ran the phone line
there, and buried it about 2 inches at the deepest, and left it on the top
of the ground in other spots. When HH decided to pour 3 loads of
gravel there, he enclosed it in metal conduit.

So HH tells the Phone Man that he has been wanting to disc his
field in front of the barn, but was afraid to because of that phone
wire. Phone Man said that he might as well run new wire instead
of splicing the old one to get cut again. So instead of running the
shortest way as the crow flies, he ran it across our front field by
the gravel road, and down the sinkhole line. Picture the old phone
line as the hypotenuse of a right triangle, and the new one as the
two sides. Or not. I know Mabel will get it, even if nobody else
does.

Shh....HH was not really planning to disc the field. He wanted
the phone line to run straight down from the road, not meander
across the property. Phone Man said that within a week, they
should be back with a trencher to bury Mr.Phone Line in a
shallow grave. Then I will be able to rest in peace that my
internet service will remain intact, and #1 son can go back to
driving his car.