Redneck Review

Friday, August 26, 2005

Odds & Ends

Nothing much interesting to blog about here in Redneckland. But
have I ever let that stop me before? Let me answer for you: NO.

Hillbilly Husband left Wednesday for Connecticut. He's doing
some such thing to a machine. I don't really listen when he talks
to me about work. Shh...Don't tell him. It will be our little secret.
He should return Saturday, so the kids and I are making the most
of our freedom.

#1 son removed the epidermis from his elbow on Tuesday in a
kickball competition on the school outdoor basketball court. It will
not stay covered with Scooby Doo and Fairly Odd Parents band-
aids. I also apply a thick layer of Neosporin (or at least the Wal-mart
version of Neosporin, which I believe is called Triple Antibiotic
Ointment). Today it is finally looking better. More pink, less green.

#2 son has learned some sign language in 2nd grade. He proudly
showed me how to sign "stop talking." Do you think he was trying
to tell me something?

My school computers did not take kindly to the changing of the
server this summer. I can find my HS class rosters on the MS
computer. But no MS rosters anywhere. I can not change my
home page. It reverts to that blasted MSN on all 3 computers,
no matter how many times I try to reset.

I have been calculating area and volume of circles and cones and
cylinders for 3 hours each day. And explaining how to describe
an experiment to see if ants prefer honey or butter. And telling the
purposes of the 1st and 2nd Continental Congresses. And explaining
why the U.S. entered WWI. And diagramming subject/verb thingies.
And explaining the differences among Pilgrims/Puritans/Quakers.
And scratching my head over Economics, because it is just so abstract
that I have to read the book and question the students on "...and then
what did he tell you to do?"

I have also been blessed with lunch duty this week. The 9th grade
lunch shift. I didn't have to watch the weather to know there was
a storm moving in. These kids stirred themselves into a frenzy. Do
not doubt Deadpanann when she likens her students to ferrets on
crack. I suppose the hillbilly version would be weasels on meth.
If I could only bottle this energy and use it instead of gasoline, I
might win a Nobel Prize. It is kind of hard to fit the kids into the
gas tanks, though. OK, so I'm still ironing out the bugs on this plan.

But really, nothing interesting is happening. You will be the first to
know if it does.


  • At 4:13 PM, Blogger Redneck Diva said…

    Why can't Mr. Diva get a job that requires travel? Man, that sounds like fun.

    It's bad when the Scooby and Oddparents bandaids won't stick. That might be cause to break out the Ninja Turtle ones around here.

    We have Triple Antibiotic Ointment at our house, too!! I haven't bought real Neosporin ever.

    I learned the sign for "poop" from watching Meet the Fockers last weekend. I took a sign language course when KD was a baby but I retained NONE of it. However, my children still remember what I taught them back them.

    You've been talking about the SCC and verbs and nouns and economics and this week all I've done is figured out how to feed two infants at once, how to use the most possible surface area of a kleenex for maximum booger retrieval AND am trying to teach Kady and Chandler how to write capital K's and C's. Oy.

    If you figure out how to bottle up kid energy, holler. I've got lots of test specimens.

  • At 6:49 PM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Hillbilly Mom,
    I had to think for a while what an epidermis was, then I clicked, commonly called a 'scab' here.

    Nice to hear your son is learning Sign. I know enough Auslan to get into trouble, but that is different to the American version, so I guess we will never be able to talk.

    Regarding your school computers, burn the whole place down. Sorry, I'm having a bad day.

    Umm, pi R squared, umm diameter times length, umm look a dog wit a curly tail, eeeep!

    Ants taste better with butter, and a bit of garlic. The purpose of the first two Continental Congresses was to set the ground rules for Superbowl, and to ensure the moose was always regarded as a weird arse Canadian thing. The difference between the Pilgrims/Purituns/Quakers is the size of the fries you get wiht your meal upgrade. For economics, just put it into terms they can understand, like; "If you have three critters, and your uncle dad shoots a racoon, can I sleep with your sister, she's real pretty."

    Your theory on student fuel is a sound one, given that humans are so full of water, and the rest of it is shit, just remove the water, remove the sit, and run it on the energy that is left.

    Now for me to go off and blog.

  • At 7:19 PM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    I'm so lucky. HH is supposed to go to Brazil one of these days. They can not get into the country for some reason. This trip has been planned for a year.
    They have a Colombian learning Portuguese, because Spanish ain't good enough in Brazil. Somebody messed up the specs on the machine they are shipping, so the bugs are getting worked out. Not real bugs. That would be nasty. I doubt that Brazil needs to import bugs.

    The problem with bottling up the kid energy is the "bottling up the kid" part. I'm pretty sure there are laws against that sort of thing. It's kind of like "barreling up the Diva," I guess.

    I think you could take over my life for one day. More than that and you might break your nose. Or get locked up for arson.

    You could teach my students. I know you could get through to them, since you understand the whole Uncle Dad thing.


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