Redneck Review

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Crackpot Theory

I am not the only person who believes we did not land on the moon.
My reasons come from a show I saw on network TV, people. I think
it was called Conspiracy Theory, and had a different agenda each
week. This was four or five years ago. I might or might not have an
illegal copy on videotape.

Can you recall the technology we had in the 1960s? When a computer
took up a whole building? Are we to believe that NASA sent men to
the moon and brought them back, numerous times? Why didn't any
other countries manage to do that? Remember the space race? Why
didn't Russia put men on the moon? They were neck and neck with
us in the rocket department. Why not the Japanese? I hear they're
pretty technology-friendly.

In no particular order, here are some of the questions raised by
that TV show:

The lunar lander thingy was very unstable. We even crashed one
on earth trying to land it. When it set down on the moon, there was
no blast crater from the blast that slowed its descent. There was no
moon dust on the landing feet. Wouldn't you think it would kick up
a big cloud of moon dust while landing, that would settle on the
landing feet? The jumping-around astronauts kicked up little puffs
of dust with their feet.

Why did one of the astronauts say, "It looks like the high desert of
the United States" when they first landed. Why would they bring up
something like that unless they were afraid people would think they
faked it in the high desert of the United States?

The U.S. flag blows in the wind. Uh...there is not an atmosphere on
the moon, so no wind.

The rocks in the pictures show different light sources for their shadows.
The sun should have been the only light source. The only shadows
should have been on the side of the rocks opposite the sun, not on
the sides.

The astronauts run and jump like in slow motion, but they do not jump
higher than they could on Earth. Hello! Their weight is one-sixth of
what it is on Earth. Why no Michael Jordan jumps, boys? If you speed
up the film, it looks like the way men on Earth would run in a spacesuit.

There are no stars in the background of those beautiful pictures we
took. And how did we get such great pictures? The astronauts could
not look through the camera very well, what with the bulky spacesuit
helmets. What about those crosshair things in the pictures? Some of
them are behind part of the objects in the photo. Hmm...doctored
photos, anyone? Astronauts and equipment superimposed on a

The films of the astronauts riding in the Lunar Rover, and walking
around on the surface were taken in the exact same place on
supposedly different days. The films can be superimposed on
each other and line up exactly, right down to the same rocks
and shadows. We are told these were taken in two completely
different areas.

The noise of the engines would have been to loud to hear the
astronauts talking to each other while taking off and landing
on the moon's surface.

The mathematical chance of us sending someone to the moon and
returning them safely to Earth during the time of the alleged moon
landings was 0.0017 %.

Why all the secrecy around Area 51? Satellite photos show large
buildings such as movie sound stages. Have you ever seen the old
movie Capricorn One? It's about a fake Mars mission. Is it possible
that our government faked the moon landing to cut costs, and to
win the space race? We could have launched the astronauts into
orbit, then sent footage of the "moon movie" to the networks. Why
haven't we been back to the moon?

The only thing that foils my theory is that I do not see how so many
people could keep this secret for so long. I want explanations for
all these inconsistencies, people! I want to know that we really
went to the moon, not to a movie soundstage in the high desert of
the United States, with movie lighting and professional photographers.

I checked out this site, but I was still not convinced. Just label me
one of those stupid hoax believers.


  • At 11:01 PM, Blogger Redneck Diva said…

    Last fall my sis and I went to the City with my Papa and great uncle. On the ride home Uncle Homer was telling us about how he didn't believe we'd landed on the moon and Sis and I just bit our lips and said, "Ohhh...hmmmm...interesting...never thought about it like that..." etc. Turns out there are a LOT of people that believe the same as you and my late Uncle Homer.

    I'd never really looked at the photos and footage. You have made me think tonight, Hillbilly Mom. Always a teacher, aren't you?

  • At 11:53 PM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    Or always a crackpot. But at least I am not going to put 55 gallon barrels in my Hillbilly Mama's front yard at Halloween. Maybe you can get a couple of bloody arms and hands to hang out of one. The rubber Halloween ones, not real ones. Please specify this to Mrs. Coach.

  • At 4:08 PM, Blogger Redneck Diva said…

    Knowing Mrs. Coach I will have to specify. She's evil. I'm so glad she's my friend.

  • At 6:36 PM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Hillbilly Mom,
    I know we have been to the moon, I have the cheese to prove it.


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