Redneck Review

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Lunchtime Stories

I have the same lunch shift I've had for 7 years now. The freshman
lunch. My dinner companions change, depending on scheduling.
This year I have been removed from all my friends (oops! I just
typed "fiends") and I have lunch with 4 men. Oh, there's another
woman, but she only comes out for duty week, and eats during
another lunch shift with her "fiends." So it's me and the boys.

Today the topic turned to how we had a storm last night, and
Mr. X didn't want to oversleep, even though his alarm has a
battery back-up. Then Mr. W said, "Hey, I've been late a couple
of times because of car accidents. One time I had to call and say
Hey, I'm gonna be a little late, there's a woman in a bush at
end of my road."

Mr. W looked both ways before pulling out onto the main road,
and saw that woman. He jumped out and ran over, and said,
"Hey, Ma''re lying in a bush." He said at first he was
afraid she might pull a gun and ask for his money and his keys.
He figured since he only had two dollars, it wouldn't matter that
much. She just laid there. Then the ambulance people came, and
started going through her purse and her clothes. He left then. He
wanted no part of that. They said she had some kind of drug
overdose. He didn't know how she got into the bush.

That reminded Mr. Y of a time when the weather was really hot,
and an 80-something neighbor had been out mowing the yard
with a riding mower. Mr. Y drove by later that afternoon and
noticed that Neighbor was not riding the mower. He was lying
on his side on the ground. "Oh, no!" thought Mr. Y. "He's had a
stroke or something!" Mr. Y jumped out and ran over to see if he
could help. Like if he could save the guy's life. Just as he got to
Neighbor, the guy rolled over and said, "What the **** are you
doing?" Seems that Neighbor was checking the belt on his mower.

Good Samaritans. I didn't have a story to share.


  • At 11:41 PM, Blogger Rachy said…

    I think that woman in the bush story is going to give me nightmares. How creepy. We used to sometimes get strangers knocking on our front door asking for cigarettes, but never overdosed women. Does he know if she survived or not?

  • At 11:03 AM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    The way he told the story, it seems like she survived. I don't know how he found out. It's a small town, so I guess somebody knew somebody who told him.


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