Redneck Review

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Homegirl and Uncle Joe

Well, it seems as if Rebecca is up to her old tricks of making me
look foolish. Oh, all right. I can do that pretty well myself without
any help from the land of Beclakia. Since Beclakia has no taxes,
Rebecca is raising revenue by selling my soul on a T-shirt.

This is not such a big deal, I suppose, for what she could have
done. But there comes a time when I have to make my stand.

I forgave her for this:
















I forgave her for allowing a cheese sandwich and a sheep-on-
a-unicycle to get more votes than me in the Big Blogger Final.

And I forgave her for declaring herself the winner of every redneck
contest I cooked up. But now, Rebecky, IT IS OOOONNNN!!!!
Beware.

Speaking of scary mail-order images, here is one I found while
browsing for some mail-order hillbilly Christmas gift ideas:


















This is not my Uncle Joe. I found him in the Miles Kimball
catalog. My apologies in advance to the family of the real
Uncle Joe.
That said, let the snarking begin.

Is this creepy, or what? Didn't Uncle Joe have a better
picture to remember him by? He reminds me of Montgomery
Burns, Homer Simpson's boss, with hair. And what's with
that suit? Is the hanger still in it? Cause it doesn't hang very
flatteringly on Uncle Joe's shoulders.

And how about that expression on his face? The real Uncle
Joe may have been a moral, churchgoing saint. But this photo
makes him look like some butt-pinching perv who just won
a backstage pass to the Hicksville Blue-Ribbon Hiney Contest.
Say it ain't so, Joe.

Don't even think about it, Rebecca. Step away from Photoshop.
NOW! Do not compound your crime and attract the redneck
wrath of Hillbilly Mom. Just Say No! I am warning you. No more.
Vengeance will be mine.

5 Comments:

  • At 9:46 PM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Hillbilly Mom,
    ROTFPML. Great blog, put a smile on my face, and I need it right now.
    So you want a war? Well putting on my best Skank American, covered in Bling Bling accent I say to you. "Bring it on Girl!" :-)
    HooRoo
    Bec

     
  • At 10:19 PM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    Bec,
    Be careful what you wish for. Remember, I have a 10-year-old assistant to help me with this fancy-shmancy computer thingy.

     
  • At 1:04 AM, Blogger coffee and cigarettes said…

    This is like India and Pakistan, the war hasn't started yet but it is certainly bubbling under the surface!

    I'm reminded of something when there were punch-ups at Bairnsdale Secondary College, someone would yell out "FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT" and everyone would come running to watch!

    Let the games begin...

     
  • At 8:34 PM, Blogger Redneck Diva said…

    I wish I had to sit around and do cool things with my PhotoShop...

    It's a lovely billboard, Hillbilly Mom. You should be proud.

    :D

     
  • At 8:57 PM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    Diva,
    Rebecca was kind enough to make it for me during her Big Blogger contest. She is evil, I tell you!

     

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