Unintentional Joke of the Day

You may have noticed: I do not suffer fools gladly. Five minutes into
class today, these kids were already dissecting my last nerve. I'd told
them to bring the Language I vocabulary words to show me, even if
they were done. The reason being, last time they told me they were
done, yet nobody turned them in to the teacher.

Out of 5 kids, one said, "No, I haven't done them. But I have the word
list." This kid was at that moment doing algebra, so he was off the hook.
The other 4 Language I kids sat idle, declaring that they were caught up
with their work. They had all "left it in their lockers." So I took the word
list from honest lazy kid, and gave it to one of the lying lazy kids, and said,
"Write down the first few, and get to work on them. Give the list to one
of the others."

This kid fiddled about, and then needed a dictionary. We have been in
school for 4 weeks now. He's seen where I keep the dictionaries. He
was absolutely sucking the energy right out of me. I needed that energy
to help someone with American History, my least favorite subject next
to World History. Or maybe Economics. Pilgrims/Puritans/Separatists/
Quakers/Massachusetts/Rhode Island/Pennsylvania/Connecticut. I hate
history. Been there, done that. Why dwell in the past?

"Go get one out of the cabinet," I told him. He meandered over to the
wrong cabinet, where I had leaned my umbrella against the door. He
yanked it open, and guess what...let me answer for you: the umbrella
crashed to the floor. I guess he thought that the law of gravity was
temporarily suspended, what with him about to do some actual work.
"No. Not that cabinet." I looked at some of the older kids in the class.
"Why do I feel like I am babysitting actual babies?" I asked them. One
of the actual babies said, "Because you are."

About this time, the kid opened the correct cabinet, and peered onto
every shelf except the one right in front of him that harbored the
dictionaries. "Wheeerrrrre?" he whined.

"Right there behind the baby wipes!" I barked. Yeah. I really do have
a box of baby wipes in that closet. For cleaning my white board. We
had a good laugh at the timing of the baby statements.