HH, Drinking Teacher, and the Accidental Kiss

No, these three things are not related, but they are what I have to
talk about today.

My Hillbilly Husband got a reprieve from the hospital admission.
He still has pneumonia, but he got a shot in the butt and an $8.00
inhaler, and a stay of admission until Thursday. And also two days
off from work. Well, I'll be working, so he'll have to find new guests
for his pity party.

HH got his knee report from the radiologist. A torn cartilage. WooHoo!
Ain't I smart? I diagnosed it. Well, I had one myself twice. And I
might as well mention that I thought it was the medial meniscus, but
it is the lateral meniscus. Well, I always say, a meniscus is a meniscus.
He goes next Tuesday to see an orthopedic surgeon about it.

Next on the agenda...third hour today one of my older students said,
out of the blue, "I saw Mr. X at the Labor Day Picnic, and he was
drinking beer. He had one of those pitchers, carrying it around."
Okaaayyy. What am I supposed to say to that? I mean, teachers
have lives too, you know. It was not a school event, but in the city
park of a neighboring town. I just kind of shrugged, and said, "A lot
of people go to the Labor Day Picnic."

Here is what I wanted to say. I don't doubt that Mr. X has been
known to drink a beer. I DO doubt that he was walking around
with a pitcher, because Mr. X is known for being....how you say...
CHEAP! He is the guy who brings a loaf of white bread to the
Thanksgiving potluck dinner. But thank goodness he doesn't
bring that icky creamed corn and cornmeal mush milky slushy
casserole that I bit into and wanted to spit out. (I think I just
threw up a little bit in my mouth. Sorry, Mabel, I know your buddy
brought one of those TWO corny casseroles, but it was the worst
thing I ever tasted, and that includes the cold mushy peas that my dad
forced me to eat when I was 8, four hours after supper, sitting in the
dark kitchen of our 50-foot trailer home, until it was bedtime and I had
to eat them before I could get up from the table. It's not child abuse,
people, just redneck child-rearin').

And the final story, which I think wins the prize for the most
interesting student statement today, even over the beer-drinking:
"Oh, I kissed him by accident one time in fifth grade!"

Yeah, right. I don't buy it. Kissing by accident. Here's the story.
It seems this little girl hated this boy who sat in front of her. She
was going "blah, blah, blah" and making faces at the back of
his head while he was griping about her to the boy in front of
him. He must have been tipped off that she was making faces
at him behind his head, because he whirled around quickly to
catch her, saying "Would you just knock it off?!" When he did,
his open mouth hit her flapping tongue, and they "kissed." Oh,
the horror! They both started spitting and choking and all the
other kids had a good laugh. Now that I believe.