My New Enemy

I have now let SBC off the hook for telling me nothing was wrong
with my phone and dragging out repairs for 2 weeks. They came
back a couple Saturdays ago and buried my new phone line in
its shallow grave. There were two guys who did it. They were
not wearing shirts. It was a good look for them.

My new enemy is UPS. The Unqualified People Shipping company.
With the little brown truck. Every time I get a package through them,
it is crushed and has been opened. WTF? At first, I thought maybe
Amazon recycled their used boxes. But that does not explain why
every package has been opened and taped back together. And not
very well, I might add. I could do a better job if I was snooping in
people's stuff. What gives? Only two things have ever been missing
in the last 5 years. One DVD never arrived at all, and the other had
a book missing from the box.

















Here is the latest pain in my a$$. It has been crushed and it has
been opened. I took several pictures in case I get into a dispute
with Walmart.com. You're dying to know what's in it, aren't you?
Should I make you wait until Christmas? Oh, OK. It's a scale.
Not an everyday spring scale. A $60 electronic scale. I do not
claim to be an expert on scales, but I do not think an electronic
scale should be subjected to such rough treatment. I haven't
opened it yet. There may not even be scales inside. It may be
that "Fitty" has given up on the 55-gallon barrels and is now
shipping body parts through UPS.

See, the whole reason for this scale is that we have a regular
spring scale, but it is not quite accurate. That is because my
hillbilly children see a spring scale, and think: Hey, a trampoline!
Watch me! Listen to it rattle! This is like that hammer thing at
the Labor Day Picnic! You know, the one where you hit it as
hard as you can, and see how high that thing goes! Look! I can
make myself weigh over 100! Shhh...here comes Mom! Get
off! Act like we weren't doing anything! And that is why this
scale is accurate within 12-15 pounds. It depends on where you
set it, and which way you lean.

















These Unqualified People Shipping need to perfect their thieving
techniques. At least take off the whole piece of tape and replace
it. Don't try to sneak a peek and then drape the tape back almost
where it goes. Helloooo! I can see where you've ripped off the
cardboard with the tape. Try slitting the tape with a box cutter,
and then taping over it. That won't be as obvious.

I think I will order some honey bees. Do you think they would
escape if the box was opened?