Redneck Review

Friday, August 12, 2005

Like a Squirrel on a Wire

I have nothing to blog about today. It's back-to-school time. The
air has that back-to-school smell in the mornings. A few years
ago, before I had to drive my kids to school with me every day,
I could enjoy the sights along the way. I didn't have to bend my
arm backwards to give someone a tissue, or dig in my purse for
nacho money, or try to sign some permission form at a stop sign.

This one morning I noticed movement on a telephone wire on
the road near school. I looked up and saw a little squirrel. Aww,
how cute! I thought. Gee, he sure is a little squirrel. He must
about half-grown. He's got good balance to run along
that wire.
Hey, what's with his tail--he doesn't have any fur
on it. Maybe
young squirrels don't grow that bushy tail until

All this happened in a couple of seconds. The road curved,
and I had to pay more attention to my driving. And in that
split second when I looked back down to the road, the horror
of it hit me. That was a rat. And while it was small for a
squirrel, it was big for a rat. This is the country. We don't
have any giant city rats. In fact, it was the first rat I had ever
seen. No, this was no cute little field mouse with the Mickey
ears. It was a rat. And it ran along the wire in the direction
of school.

The hair on the back of my neck stood up, because it was
kind of creepy to watch a cute little squirrel turn into a rat.
I never saw it again, but I spread the word to my fellow
teachers that a rat was running along the telephone line toward
school. They had a good laugh at me, and asked if I needed

Teachers. Not as compassionate as you might think.


  • At 11:41 PM, Blogger Rachy said…

    I didn't see many rats when I was growing up but we had a massive mouse problem where I used to live and our place became almost infested after our cat died... we didn't have much time to mourn the poor little cat because we had to get a new one quick smart

    One of the times I lived in Europe we had rats in our apartment and I had to stay at my boyfriend's house for a few weeks because the landlord was so slack in poisoning them... thank God we finally got rid of them, they are horrible ugly beasts

  • At 11:52 PM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Hillbily Mom,
    I hope you had as much fun as Ms Ann at school.
    Did the rat look at all like this one:
    If so, leave him alone, he's a very popular entertainer.

  • At 12:06 PM, Blogger ccap said…

    shudder. Amazing how cute we find squirrels and how horrid we find rats.

  • At 7:54 PM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    I watched a show called "Life of Grime" about New York City health inspectors. There was a landlord who said to put out beer, and the rats will drink it, and since they can't fart, their stomachs explode. He also ran around the vacant lot across the street and beat some to death with a kid's blue plastic "Fat Bat." I watch too much TV.

    I think Miss Ann has the fun market cornered for a semester. Couldn't get into that link. Was it Benny Hill, or someone he thought was a rat?

    Yeah, we think squirrels and bunnies are cute, but they are still rodents like cousin rat. Folks around here fry up a mess of squirrels and rabbits to eat, but gagged when the Survivors ate a rat a couple years ago.

  • At 3:59 PM, Blogger KarbonKountyMoos said…

    The only reason squirrels are considered cute is because of the tail. We have packrats here. I had never seen one before. I told my husband about this cute rodent that was sitting on my airfilter. When I popped the hood, there it was - cuter than ever. The Sugar Beet Baron didn't think it was cute at all.

  • At 4:37 PM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Hillbilly Mom,
    No the link was to a photo of Rat in a Hat, from Banana's in Pyjama's.


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