Redneck Review

Monday, August 08, 2005

#4 Official Answers What Would Rednecks Do?

The question this week was: What would Rednecks do with the
old cabinets made out of paneling when they remodel their house?

The answers this week were all compatible with the Redneck
lifestyle. Misha comes out the big winner, with three (count 'em)
three solutions to the problem.Scoring was:

Misha: 3
build a cubby house for the kids
use as firewood
build a dog kennel

Babs: 1
decorate the den in a faux-cabinet look

Michele: 2
panel the outside of the pick-up
woodgrain dashboard interior

Rebecca: 2
patio funiture for BBQs
can't have two kitchens in a trailer house

Thanks for playing. All of your ideas could work for the general
Redneck population. Some are not plausible, though, for the
hardcore Rednecks. For example:

Cubby for the kids?
Why, when you have a perfectly good
sinkhole available?

Build a dog kennel? I believe the hardcore Rednecks call that
a chain and a metal spike.

Decorate the den in a faux-cabinet look? Not unless those
hardcore Rednecks are puttin' on airs. The "den" is called a
"family room," and is mainly unfinished and filled with junk
that you don't want to put anywhere else. And a "faux" is
what you send Ol' Blue after so you can getcha a tail to tie
to your pick-up truck's antenna.

Use it on the side of the pickup? If the pickup has sides.

Woodgrain look for the dashboard? If your truck isn't full of
old swimming pool parts.

Patio furniture? Most BBQs are "BYOLC" (bring your own
lawn chair), many of which collapse after a few too many
cans of beer in Bubba's tummy.

Official Answers:
Use some of them as storage cabinets in the toolshed that
you build on a skid and haul to town for the back yard.
(My teacher-friend-without-a-blog was very close to this
one, as she emailed me: "put the cabinets in the barn."

The rest of the paneling cabinets shall be officially disposed
of in the big sinkhole (not to be confused with the clubhouse


  • At 4:14 AM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Hillbilly Mom,
    Wow! I won again! Now I know you are going to say, "But you only got 2 points, and Misha got three points", but this is not just a week by week thing.
    If you add up all the points I got over the four weeks, I am the overall winner.
    Sorry Hillbilly Mom, what's that about a long bow I draw?

  • At 12:36 PM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    Let me share a little saying with you. I have to use it around the house all the time with my dear Hillbilly Husband. "Just because you say it's so doesn't make it so."

    I guess you'll be declaring yourself the winner next week, too--even though I'm not having another contest for a while. You certainly are unstoppable!

    I will speak to you like HH talks to us around here. "Well, IF you have the most points for four weeks, then I GUESS MAYBE you are the winner and I SHOULD offer you my congratulations." ;)

    I will not be held responsible for Misha's actions when she finds out you have taken the spotlight away from her and declared yourself the biggest winner of all time.

  • At 12:04 AM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    HI Hillbilly Mom,
    Thankfully Misha lives 500miles away. I only hope she doesn't track me down next time I am in Sydney.

    Thanks for these questions, I've enjoyed the game so much, I might steal the concept a bit.

  • At 12:20 AM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    Steal if you must. I don't think your case will be tried by my jury, either. I don't care what ideas people take. I do things for fun, and stop when they become a chore.

  • At 1:27 PM, Blogger Redneck Diva said…

    Okay, IF I had been around to participate, I'd have said put them in the barn for storage. 'Cuz anything that comes out of the house goes directly to the barn to be "re-used" which translates into "become a rusting, rotting heap of junk that the mice take over".

    But alas, I was out cavorting in the sand and murky lake water, fretting over the lack of derby car and losing my ever-lovin' mind. So....

    I can't believe I missed the last WWRD. Just damn.


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