Redneck Review

Thursday, August 11, 2005

"Don't you ever buy a new one and pay on time, when you can get a used one for a dime...

...a book's no good 'til someone's turned a page." Did any of you
recognize these lyrics? Any Ozark Mountain Daredevil fans out
there? I didn't think so.

Wednesday we loaded up 23 pairs of jeans, 7 pairs of shoes,
10 shirts, a camouflage hooded sweatshirt (size 12 mo.--yeah,
we're rednecks), and 2 shirt/pants/vest/tie outfits and headed to
town to pick up Hillbilly Grandma for an outing to the new
Goodwill store. After dumping--DONATING--these items, of
course we had to shop. #2 son bought 2 Pokemon tapes and a
Pokemon CD for $8.00. He thought it was a bargain, because
he didn't have these.

#1 son wanted to buy a $12.00 computer, but I talked him out of
it. He is saving for a laptop, and doing odd jobs (such that a 10-year-
old can do). My haircutter hired him Monday for 2 hours of computer
lessons, and paid him $10.00. He was thrilled. He had not expected
to be paid anything but snacks while working. He decided that he
has already taken our other computers apart enough that he didn't
need that one. The parts alone would have been worth it. Keyboard,
mouse, speakers, monitor--even if the main thingy didn't work, this
would have been worth $12.00. But we don't have room for all the
clutter, since he still has parts of an old computer #2 son's teacher
gave us last year, and it would have been HIS money, so he decided
against it. And in case you're worried about buying something like this
there, the Goodwill people say if you buy something electronic and it
doesn't work, you can bring it back and pick something else.

After our shopping spree, we headed to Ci Ci's Pizza. I don't like
their pizza, except for the Taco Pizza. Ole'! They put one out just
as we were going through the line. That's my karma for taking the
kids somewhere they wanted to go. I am mad at Ci Ci's, because
they no longer have cheese on their salad bar. What's a salad
without some shredded cheese? And they no longer have (look
away, Rebecca, look away!) mushrooms for salad fixin's, either.
But they did have some sweet banana pepper rings, so I will
remain neutral in this restaurant review, and not give them a
thumbs down.

Then, minor trauma: #2 son had eaten his fill of noodles with
red and white sauce, and those breadstick things, and went off
to the arcade room. #1 son soon followed. Next we heard a
scream, followed by another scream. That could only mean one
thing. My kids were involved. A little blond boy about 4 came
running out of the game room. Next came #1, who marched
right up to that kid's family and said, " case you're
wondering...he grabbed the air hockey puck and put it in the
goal." The first scream had been #2 son, who lost the game.
The second scream was the little boy, who was scared by
the first scream.

Next came #2, crying to me, because that made him lose. I
told him that the little boy didn't know any better, that he was
too little to understand. The boy's grandma came over and
said, "Awww, honey, we'll make it right." She gave him a
dollar to play another game. He didn't want to take it, and
turned away from her. I said it was OK, she didn't have to
give him money. Then she gave it to #1, who persuaded #2
to play again, and #2 took three quarters out of his pocket
and asked #1 to give it back to the grandma. So everything
was settled.

After this excursion, we took Hillbilly Grandma back home,
and returned to our Hillbilly Mansion to find that we had
no internet connection. !!! I called and found out that lightning
had struck across the street from the local office of our
internet provider. Quick-thinking #1 son called Hillbilly
Grandma to get her dial-up number, and we mooched off
of her service. Of course he knew her sign-in and password
--he set the whole thing up for her.

Two days left of my summer vacation. But who's counting?


  • At 12:18 AM, Blogger Rachy said…

    hearing a scream and knowing that that must have been your kids reminds me of what me and my two siblings put my parents through when we were younger... we were pretty good kids, just darned rowdy!

  • At 5:01 AM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Hillbilly Mom,
    Being safe in the knowledge that Ci Ci's no longer have mushrooms, makes me put America back on my list of places to visit. Right now it is one below Phaic Tan, but you never know when I will turn up on your soor step.

  • At 10:11 AM, Blogger Redneck Diva said…

    I know the exact decible and pitch of my son's screams, too. You'd think my girls would be the screamers, but no, it's my son. And so high-pitched it can burst your eardrums and make the neighborhood dogs go berzerk.

    The closest actual Goodwill store is in Joplin and I've never been. I guess I should go - sounds like there are bargains to be had! We have a resale shop run by the Crisis Center in town and all proceeds go to the center and we also have a Friendship House, but the Friendship House smells funny and I try not to go there unless I'm desperate. Like last year when I was looking for scarves for Ab's gypsy costume. I just don't like holding my breath while I shop.

    Today is our last day before school starts. I feel like we should be doing something more exciting, but with 6 kids in the house today...nah, it ain't happenin'.

  • At 7:51 PM, Blogger deadpanann said…

    It sounds like you've got good kids. Can they come be in my class? Please? Pretty please? Okay well then can they just come by between classes to play? C'mon!!!

  • At 11:31 PM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    The older one is really good except for the 90% of the time he is trying to maim the younger one.

    Watch where you step on the doorstep. We have 5 cats, your FAVORITE animal.
    No cows, though. Except in the freezer.

    Our Goodwill is new, but sometimes it smells like old people. I have only been in it twice. I used to take the outgrown clothes to school, so kids in our district could have them. That is too much work in 98 degrees. Someone is going to get a bargain. I gave them a pair of Nike shoes that had been worn twice. My hick kid prefers Wal-mart shoes.

    Miss Ann,
    You would love one of them. He's an adult-pleaser. He thinks he is an equal, and would discuss literature, computers, or cars with you. He's 10, reading at the 12th grade level.
    The other is lovable in his own way, which is hugging every woman he can get his hands on.


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