Redneck Review

Sunday, July 31, 2005

#3 Official Answer: What Would Rednecks Do?

The question this week was "What would a Redneck Mama do if
she was in the recliner watching TV and her son ran in to tell her
the cat was stalking a chipmunk?"

The official answer is to try and save the chipmunk by catching it
and putting it in a tree. OK, I didn't say it was a smart Redneck
Mama. More details can be found here.

The scoring for this week goes like this:

Rebecca: (3)
Scolding child for interrupting TV
Using child to bring food
Alternate use for chipmunk

Deadpanann (2)
Letting child learn from mistakes

Bert Ford (3)
Animal killing
Wild animal casserole
Skinning a cat

Redneck Diva (3)
VHS tape
America's Funniest Videos

So it looks like we have a 3-way tie for first, which puts Miss Ann
in second and reminds her that if you can't run with the big dogs,
you might as well stay on the porch. Hey, it was only one point. You
don't really have to stay on the porch. You can run around with those
fleabags if you want. Please come back and play again next week,
and maybe I won't get so smart-alecky with you.


  • At 9:54 PM, Blogger Bert Ford said…

    But, but, but...where would redneck cuisine be without canned mushroom soup?

  • At 9:55 PM, Blogger Bert Ford said…

    p.s. I thing chipmonks are ground squirrels.

  • At 10:00 PM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    Bert, I thought they were the same thing, too. Then I googled them and they have a different stripe. The one I picked up was the chipmunk model.

    As for the mushroom soup, yeah, I agree. But it was in the casserole, which counts as one dish.

    I hate that green bean, mushroom soup, canned onion ring casserole thing. I'm sure you've had it and know what I'm talking about. Please don't say that you LIKE it!

  • At 4:30 AM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Hillbilly Mom,
    I'll claim outright victory again. But since I can't use FIFA rules anymore, I'm just going to say I was at the top of your list, therefore I must have had a higher percentage. :-P

  • At 1:29 PM, Blogger Redneck Diva said…

    But, but, but . . Rebecca's from Australia!! Do they even HAVE rednecks in Australia??? I mean, real live, tattooed, mulleted, butt-crack showin', quite possibly inbred rednecks?????????? No way can she claim a out and out victory!!

    Oh wait, ya know what . . . I just won a freakin' beauty contest. If Bec wants to claim a win, I'll let it go this time. But watch out next week. I am pulling out all the stops and will find a way to work a mullet in there somewhere. And back hair.

    Ann, sweetie, just a few more weeks living in Mosquito Cabin and your redneck roots will come shinin' through. (And for the record, I am NOT a fleabag.)

  • At 2:30 PM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    Don't be so shy. (Ha!)

    In case you hadn't noticed, Rebecca claims she is the winner every week. Congratulations on your beauty contest win--but could you have beaten a sheep on a unicycle? And your fleabag it for the 55-gallon barrel killer.

  • At 10:18 PM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Redneck Diva,
    Yes, we do have real Rednecks here in the land of OZ, we call them Queenslanders, but here, the further north you go, the worse the get.
    Oh and congrats on the Beauty Contest win, looks like the 20 or so votes I put in for you helped.

    Hi Hillbilly Mom,
    Yes, I am a shy little thing, I live on fairy dust that they shake from their wings every morning as the sun rises and clears away the dew. Then I trap the fairys and make a stir-fry out of them. lol

  • At 1:12 AM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    That tale of fairy mayhem had me laughing out loud. Throw in some Cheesy-O's if you can find some, it will make the fairy stir-fry more tangy.


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