Redneck Review

Saturday, July 30, 2005

#3 What Would Rednecks Do?

And now, for something completely different. It is time for this
week's Redneck reality question.

What were minding your own business in your recliner,
watching a marathon of MTV's Real World, and your son ran
into the house hollerin' "Mom! The cat is stalking something!"?
Upon further investigation, you discovered the cat was shopping
for chipmunk for supper, in full view of your young children

What would a Mama Redneck do?

The official answer will be posted on Sunday, July 31. There may
be more than one correct answer, however.


  • At 10:28 PM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Say to your son "How many times have I told you not to piss Mom off, while she is watching her television shows. Now get me some Cheesy-O's"
    Then sit back down in your chair.
    If the cat did manage to kill the chipmonk, then you could take it down to a bar and use it as a fighting cat against Snakes. Just tell eveyone it is a "Short Haired, Short Faced Mongoose."

  • At 10:30 PM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Hillbilly Mom,
    As I was writing this, I was trying to talk like a Redneck, to get the wording right. That should be Chipmunk, with an "U" and not an "O".
    PS" All other "typo's" are unknown, I'm not wearing my glasses.

  • At 1:27 AM, Blogger deadpanann said…

    Step One: Tell them you don't reckon they oughta get in the middle of that, but if they do they won't do it but once. Step Two: Grab can of beer on your way back to the couch.

  • At 5:40 AM, Blogger Bert Ford said…

    Let the cat kill both the chipmonk & the chipmunk.
    Kill the cat.
    Add canned mushroom soup & crushed Cheesy-O's, and have "casserole" for dinner. (cat looks just like a rabbit once ya gits the skin off)

  • At 12:48 PM, Blogger Redneck Diva said…

    Well, if it were a duck the cat was stalking, we already know what I would do, but since it's a chipmunk and not a family pet this is what I'd do:

    Haul my ass out of my recliner, dig around for a VHS tape (no TiVo in the Diva house) to tape my show, grab my digital camera and give the camcorder to the eldest. Then we'd head outside. I'd snap pictures for my blog and we'd all hope that something funny would happen while the eldest videotapes so we can send it off to AFV and win enough money to finish the playhouse.

  • At 12:48 PM, Blogger Redneck Diva said…

    PS: Win enough money to finish the playhouse AND get Mama a new tattoo as well.

  • At 8:57 PM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    Those were some good Redneck answers this week, people. Hope it didn't make your head hurt too much with all that thinkin'. Apparently, Cheesy-Os go with chipmunk like stink goes with skunk.

  • At 10:20 PM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Hillbilly Mom,
    Is there such a thing as Cheesy-O's? I actually just made the name up, I've never heard of them.

  • At 11:23 PM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    Well, Bert mentioned "crushed Cheesy-O's", so there just might be such a thing. I am thinking of those
    Cheeto's baked circle things in some store-brand bag. If there is no such thing, we should invent it and sell it in Redneck stores next to Mountain Dew, which seems to be the favorite drink of all my students.


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