Redneck Review

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

So What You're Saying Is....

What kind of shorthand do you have with your friends? You know,
the phrases you use that mean something to you, but others don't
know what you're talking about (thus enabling you to make fun of
them without getting your butt kicked.)

Of couse I have reformed and don't make fun of people any more (!)
Here are some of my old ones:

Do-Not: as in "He's such a do-not, don't even bother."
Means: a person who is a clueless loser.

KD: as in "Where'd you get that lovely KD?"
Means: a bad hair day. Taken from "Katie Douglas", the character
on the TV show My Three Sons who always had a huge bouffant.

Rat It Up a Little Bit: as in "Nice KD. You might want to rat it up a
little bit."
Means: fix your hair. Cause my mom was always trying to use her
"rat-tail" comb on me. Eewww. No wonder I didn't want it near me.

Honk and Wave the Other Way: as in "That b!*$#. Next time I see her
I'm going to honk and wave the other way."
Means: to insult someone who has been a snob to you.

Lebinda: as in "You are such a Lebinda!"
Means: a very stupid girl. Named after our neighbor, Belinda, who
was really, really, dumb.

Close Personal Friend: as in "I think that's his close personal friend."
Means: the significant other of a gay person. Because we had this
teacher in college who always said, "I have this close personal friend who...."

It's Always on the Left: as in "It's always on the left, you do-not!"
Means: you have just said something incredibly stupid. After a friend
who advised us to stop for food at Wendy's, because it would be
easy to get back on the road, since "Wendy's is always on the left."

So, Basically What You're Saying Is... as in "I had to do a load of laundry
and take the trash out to the curb, so basically what you're saying is..."
Means: you are so boring that I wasn't listening at all, so repeat the whole thing.

Sabbatical Leave: as in "I heard she went on sabbatical leave, but
hasn't told anyone."
Means: fired. Because a friend rented someone's house after the
someone went on sabbatical leave and never returned.

She's Very Good At Her Job: as in "Di is very good at her job (whatever
it is that she does.")
Means: someone who doesn't do crap all day except wander the
building. After a co-worker who was constantly visiting her "boyfriend"
all day.

Contessa: as in "You don't have to be such a contessa about everything."
Means: OK, so you all know what this one means...and spelled with a "u".

All Right, Mary Kay: as in "All right, Mary Kay, that's a little too much information."
Means: you shouldn't know so much about the students' personal lives.
Named after Mary Kay Letourneau.

Writing A Letter To Emily: as in "I'll do it in a minute. I'm writing a letter to Emily."
Means: to go poop. Because my son used to stand at the computer and
tap at the keyboard before he was potty-trained, and he would say he
was writing a letter to his cousin, Emily.

So...what code words do you use to make fun of people?


  • At 5:32 AM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Hillbilly Mom,
    I had an idea for a posting along these lines today, but I was going to leave it up to the readers to work it out. I think I will hold it over until Big Blogger finishes.


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