Redneck Review

Friday, June 10, 2005

Dating Horror Stories

Yesterday's post made me think of a dating horror story from my
friend "Kelsie," who used to live in my apartment complex. Kelsie
was a teacher at a neighboring redneck school district. Of course,
her middle school students were always trying to set her up with
their relatives. Wisely, she resisted these offers.

Kelsie frequently complained that there was no one in this area
to date. Sometime close to Halloween, one of her school district's
bus drivers asked her out. She thought about it for a while, and
decided that since she knew him, it would be OK.

I can't remember the specifics of the date, even though she came
over to tell me about it when she got home that night. I don't think
he did anything too bad, or I would remember it. It seems like
they just didn't hit it off. She saw him at school, and when he
asked her out again, she told him no, that she didn't want to date
anyone for a while. He said that was fine, and that was the end
of it. Or so she thought.

A couple weeks before Christmas, Kelsie came over with an
envelope in her hand. "Look at this and tell me what you think."

I opened it. It was a Christmas card. On the front was Santa with
his list. The caption read: "I'm making a list and checking it twice..."

"Open it," Kelsie said.

Inside it was blank, with the handwritten message: "AND
YOU'RE NOT ON IT, B!%@# " (only he spelled out the
"B" word.)

Kelsie was really disturbed by that card. She figured the guy
must be a psycho to hold a grudge that long. For the rest of
the school year she avoided him. She never told anyone at
school about it, because she thought it was her fault for going
out with him in the first place.

The moral of this story, if there is one: Don't break up with a
psycho until after Christmas.

3 Comments:

  • At 10:35 AM, Blogger Alexandrialeigh said…

    Did he sign it? Or did she just THINK it was from him?

     
  • At 1:35 PM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    He didn't sign it, but the postmark was from his town, not hers. She assumed it was from him, because she didn't know anyone else there that would send something like that.

    Hah! What if it was a kid's prank, and she was all weirded out by it for all that time?

    Really, though, she was well-liked by the kids, or so she said. So I doubt it was from a middle school kid.

     
  • At 11:03 PM, Blogger deadpanann said…

    That's weird. To think a grown man would do that. If it was him then he was obviously really lonely or something to be seething about it bad enough to do that. Maybe he didn't have anyone else to send cards to.

     

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