Note to Self: Don't Watch This at Night

All right, I did it again. I got to watching the Travel Channel tonight.
I'd already seen Loretta Lynn's Haunted Plantation. But there was
this other show called Most Haunted or something like that. It was
on at 8:00 p.m., so I started watching. #1 son was at his computer,
heard it, and came over to watch with me. We should know better.
We are both big squawking crybaby chickens.

This team from the show went to an old house somewhere in
England.( I have never been good with geography or history, because
I always had a football coach for a teacher, and let's just say I learned
more about grunting Neanderthals picking on sissy boys than I'll ever
need to know.) And by old, I mean this place was built in the 1500's.
For a while it was an orphanage, then it was a home, now it is an inn.

The owners reported that people saw a dark figure in the bedrooms
and a lady on the steps, heard voices, heard children, the maid was
shoved by an entity in the bathroom, their lampshade in their
bedroom shot off the lamp and across the room, and their son
was thrown out of his bed and came crying to them with a
handprint on his neck and won't go upstairs unless an adult
goes with him.

People, this might be a sign that you should not live here. Maybe
you might want to look for a place that is...oh, I don't know,
maybe... not 500 freakin' years old!

So the team had 24 hours to find something. They sat in the rooms
with absolutely no light. They all felt creepy. Their two psychics
told them about some cruel bully spirit that wanted them out. The
woman heard someone whisper in her ear and freaked out in the
basement. Almost all of them, at one time or another, in different
rooms, felt someone touch the back of their head, or got a bad
headache in the back of the head. Interesting. A psychic got
"possessed" by the spirit and threw a lamp. This is the part that
looked fake to me. He growled, "You want confrontation?"
I said that to #1 son as he kept bopping back over to his computer.
It freaked him out, so he came back to the couch and put a blanket
over his head. Ain't I one good mama?

The worst part was when 3 guys sat in a dark bedroom and
taunted the spirit. "If you're here, show yourself. If you're really
what we think you are. Give us some sign." A couple of the guys
saw lights, but they didn't get them on camera. Then this guy said,
"Show yourself to 3 men. Or can you only show children? I am
not afraid of you." At that point, there was a thump, and some
light, and the guys screamed like little girls and grabbed each other
and headed toward the door. The TV had come on by itself. There
was just static. One guy was almost crying. He wanted out of the
room. He mumbled something about how now they were going to
see or hear something through the TV. I guess he saw Poltergeist.
Not me. Too creepy. They showed how the remote was setting
right on top of the TV, not in reach of where the guys had been
sitting. The rest of the team came running. One guy picked up the
remote, turned the TV off, then back on. It had a picture with no
static. The guys spent the rest of the night in the production van.

OK. Now if you are on a show looking for spirits, and you flat
out ask the spirits to show themselves, why do you freak out when
they do? Did you not really believe in the first place? A piece of
advice: if you are afraid to see them, don't ask for them to make
themselves known! And don't get smart with them. Sheesh, people.
This is common sense.

There was another episode right after, but scaredycat didn't want it.
Now I'm sitting here with the lights on while I type. I never leave
the lights on here in my cozy little basement office with no windows.
Lights make a glare on my screen. But now I have spooked myself
and I am afraid of the dark. I will leave on my office lights while I
go out to the main basement and turn on the big light not just the
lamp. Because I don't want a repeat of the time I saw that guy with
no head. And if you didn't hear that story, it is somewhere in my
ghost stories from June 2-7 in the archives.

Chicken little is asleep on the basement couch where he prefers
to sleep every night instead of in his nice upstairs room with the
bunk beds and a big window and a little octagon window right by
the top bunk. "It's too scary, Mom. That window by the bed."
Well, I think a dark basement where your mama saw a headless
man is just a bit scarier, but hey, to each his own.

And the next time he backtalks me, I'm going to growl, "You
want confrontation?"