Redneck Review

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

"Undies on the Outside" BB Challenge v 11

Hmmm....Rebecca's week wasn't very long this time. Here's my
new Big Blogger challenge: pick a superhero who can save the
world, and choose a sidekick from the former members of the
Cyberhouse. I choose to create my own superhero identity, so
here goes....

I am the incredibly sharp-tongued superhero, "SNIPE." Oh, no, don't want to come a-huntin' me. I can wither people
with a single scathing comment from my finely-honed tongue.
Nobody is safe: world leaders, evil-doers (OK, some are one
and the same), candy-from-baby-stealers, prep-insulting-stoner-
students, my-poo-don't-stink snobs, bosses-from-hell, and even
the lowest-of-all-life-forms, the plagiarizer, are not safe in my

I will seek you out and embarrass you to death. Got a skeleton
in the closet? I'll drag him out for Snipe & Tell. Did you pee the
bed? Pick your nose? Forget to flush? Wear raggedy stained
underwear to the ER? Leave toilet paper flapping out of your
pants? Make out with someone (gasp) unpopular? Never make
out at all? Drink from the milk jug? Put an empty Little Debbie
snack cake box back in the pantry? "Borrow" from petty cash?
I will find out, and you will pay!!!!!

My illustrious sidekick is "Mosha." After drinking 7 bottles of
wine, she becomes a kick-a$$ skank-dancer. She also gives
free lessons in kickboxing computers, and chopping potatoes
with an axe, though she will never ever become a prostitute
because that will give her Parkinson's Disease or Multiple Sclerosis.
This distracts the bad guys while I question their so-called best
friends to get the dirt. And believe me, they do tell, as long as
they start out by saying, "Don't tell anybody I told you this, but..."

Once I have their deep dark secrets, it is curtains for the villains.
I mince no words, though my tongue is so sharp it can mince
onions or other odiferous and cruciferous vegetables. I am quite
suited to the job, because as everyone who knows me well is
aware: people piss me off! All day. Every day.


  • At 2:44 AM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    I'm guessing you are on holidays right now Hillbilly Mom. Your blog entries have been fantastic of late.
    Big Blogger

  • At 12:17 PM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said… what are you saying, Rebecca? That they sucked before?

    Ha ha! Yes, I am on summer vacation until mid-August. I just toss out some sugary food to the boy young'uns, watch 2 hours of ER reruns on TBS, and blog all day.

    Sometimes I have to stop to play lifeguard at the hillbilly swimming pool, or take the laundry down to the creek to scrub it with a rock, or whittle a new corncob pipe.

    Hubby is gone to visit Hillbilly Great-Grandma with the older boy right now, so I had to remove a tick from uh, let's just say a "private part" of the younger boy. That's the most work I've done in a while.

    Hope you're enjoying winter right about now. Yesterday was OUR longest day of the year! Am I making you jealous yet?

  • At 2:57 PM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Hillbilly Mom,
    Not making me jealous at all. I prefer the winter. Once it gets over about 80F then I get too hot. Melbourne's weather works out just great for me, except for that day a couple of years back where it got to 118F, and didn't drop below 100F for the top temp each day of the week. The average temp of around 70F does me fine.


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