Redneck Review

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Everybody Has an Addiction

Everybody has an additction. Mine is Sonic Cherry Diet Coke.
Well, that's the only one I care to discuss here, anyway. I have
to have it every day. That means I drive 6 miles to get it, because
they won't build a Sonic in my front yard.

I love everything about it. The styrofoam cup to keep it cool,
the crushed ice, the cherry flavoring. Sweet, sweet nectar.

The first sip is a quest for perfection. Have those dear Sonic
soda specialists changed the carbonation cylinder? Do I have
the right amount of fizz, or is it (sob!) flat and watery. Too
much imitation cherry flavor, or just enough? A balance of
ice and soda, or have I been given the cup full of ice with a
dash of soda, usually reserved for Happy Hour 3:00-5:00
half-price time? Or maybe my minimum-wage enabler has
blessed me with all soda and a few crumbs of ice. Either is
as unpleasant as the other. The proper balance must be attained.

I can not describe the disappointment when some part of
my precious daily dose of Sonic Cherry Diet Coke is out of
balance. Once I took a large sip and nearly choked on the
foul liquid, for it was not my beloved elixir, but its unwelcome
cousin, Vanilla Dr. Pepper. How I hate vanilla! I had to drive
back around, wait in line, and demand that they remedy this
atrocious assault on my taste buds.

Last summer, I returned to the Hillbilly Mansion with my
precious boys and my equally precious Large Cherry Diet
Coke. I gave the older boy the key to unlock the door while
I gathered my purse, soda, and a couple of Wal-mart bags.
Upon arriving at the kitchen door, I saw that they had closed
it to keep the cats out, and heard them frolicking as boys are
wont to do: "Imbecile!" "Uh uh. You are. Poopyhead!" I kicked
on the door to get their attention. That wasn't happening. I
grabbed the doorknob, and as I tried to turn it, the lid on my
container of black gold bent, and the whole cup crashed to
the porch. Tears formed as I watched my precious beverage
seep through the cedar boards. No words can describe my
despair. And it had two cherries!

I sent the boys out with a bowl of water to clean up the remains.
I was so distraught that when my Hillbilly Husband arrived home,
he volunteered to drive to town and get me another one. No, I
was having none of that. It was not the same.

Each new day dawns bright and full of hope, with the promise
of my afternoon Sonic Cherry Diet Coke.


  • At 2:06 AM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Hillbilly Mom,
    Is this an adiction or a product placement?

    When it comes to a daily requirement, I don't really have one, but on a summers day a Jubbly, or as they are more commonly known Sunny Boy, goes down really well. I just wish they still made the Lime Roller.

  • At 4:24 AM, Blogger Rachel Croucher said…

    I remember Sunny Boys, I used to love them when I was little. But my true addiction was Slush Puppies, a crushed ice drink with flavouring. I remember getting off the school bus and running towards the shop to get my hands on one of these precious energy replenishers, having saved my precious coins over at least two weeks to do so. Generally you were only allowed to have three squirts of flavouring, but I was a polite child and the guy at the corner shop used to give me six, sometimes even seven or eight if I were lucky! It was like an endless Icy-Pole (popsicle) in a great big cup that I could only just fit my hands around... Slush Puppies were like the hillbilly version of some fancy schmanzy ice drink that you could get at 7/11 in the big smoke, which was approximately four hours away from where I grew up... and since moving to the city I never fell for the fancy drink, and I am quite looking forward to getting back to my hometown for a visit so I can have me a super size blue heaven Slush Puppy

  • At 5:39 AM, Blogger deadpanann said…

    Mmm..slush puppies! Red ones...

    HB Mom, I have a similar quest for the perfect Sonic Diet Cherry Limeade. My view of the world got a little brighter when they came out with it a couple of years ago. I understand the frustration you feel when there's too much ice, not enough coke, or fourteen limes and no cherry, for example. Sometimes they put tooo much cherry flavoring, and then it's impossible to drink. Other times it's not sweet enough. And why won't they give me cherries in a diet cherry limeade? I know they have sugar and the point of a diet drink is to avoid sugar, but the sugar in a marachino cherry a small price to pay for such a perfect bite of goodness. There have been several times that I specifically requested a Diet Cherry Limeade WITH cherries, and I'm certain they made me a regular Cherry Limeade instead of a diet. They don't get it, do they?

  • At 6:19 AM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Rachel, they both still exist, just a little hard to find these days. A good old slush puppie goes down very well indeed.

  • At 7:05 AM, Blogger Raehan said…

    I'm so sorry for your loss!!!

  • At 9:01 AM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    Ann, they don't usually put a cherry in my beloved Cherry Diet Coke, either. Now I ask you, if you're not going to put a cherry in a cherry Coke, what are you going to use them for? Those mini banana splits? If they are busy, and the manager makes it herself, I get a cherry.

    That's why it was so tragic that I dropped the one with TWO cherries, Raehan. Thanks for the condolences.

    Bec and Rachel, I know I've had a Slush Puppy, but I can't remember where. The Dairy Queen Mr.Misty used to be a favorite of mine, but I hated to ask for a "Mr." Misty.

  • At 7:56 PM, Blogger chewy said…

    i know what it's like to play sonic roulette. only for me the addiction was strawberry limeades. although, a cherry diet coke would do in a pinch. since i've moved well above the mason dixon line sonic's aren't as easy to come by. i've had to switch to my other love...perfect cup of iced coffee. imagine your typical underpaid sonic waitress and then strip her of her ability to understand english beyond coffee and money. it's a nightmare.

  • At 12:59 AM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    Chewy, I can't think about life without Sonic. Now I could do a strawberry slush, or I could do a limeade, but I couldn't do those two together because that citric acid would eat a hole in my stomach and let the Cherry Diet Coke run out. I've never been tempted by the bean.

  • At 5:18 AM, Blogger Rachel Croucher said…

    Rebecca, if you know anywhere in Melbourne that still serves slush puppies I will be your slave;)

  • At 10:05 AM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Hi Rachel,
    No need to be my slave, you can find Slush Puppies at the following known locations:
    Milkbar on Kookaburra Drv, Werribee.
    Milkbar somewhere in South Melton. I'll have to check the actual location of this one.
    There is also a places in Glen Huntley, Elthem, and Frankston that has them.
    I will keep an eye out for any others.

  • At 12:16 AM, Blogger Redneck Diva said…

    I just love plain ol' Coca Cola from the Sonic. There's nothing better than Sonic ice. Nothing. Twelve orgasms in one day would not compare to the joy I receive from a large - or even better a ROUTE 44 - Sonic Coke. Seriously. Now that I'm trying to be all healthy and stuff I'm reduced to Sonic Diet Cokes, which are almost as good. Not quite, but it'll do.

  • At 12:45 AM, Blogger Hillbilly Mom said…

    I like the ice so much that I also get a large cup of water. Then I have extra ice for my Sonic Cherry Diet Coke. Sometimes it's free, sometimes they charge me a quarter. Today, I swear, the girl told me they were out of water. Not the sharpest tool in the shed, that little blond thing. She says "Do you want anything else?" YES.
    A large cup of ICE. #1 son says, "If they don't have any water, how do they make the ice?" That boy is a pure genius. I was wondering how they washed their hands after pooping.


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