Redneck Review

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Hillbilly Kissin' Lessons

My oldest son started daycare when he was two. I did not
worry about his safety there at all. The lady only took ten
children, and all were age five or under. The yard was fenced.
The daycare itself was a little cottage behind the caregiver's

When I came to pick him up each day, my son screamed and
ran away. "I don't want to go!" OK, so it broke my heart, but
he really liked daycare. I was embarrassed that he ran away
from me every day, but the caregiver said that a lot of kids do

One afternoon, my boy ran to me and held out his arms to be
picked up. When I lifted him up, he put his hands on my cheeks
and said, "I kiss you." Oh, how sweet. I hugged him and turned
my cheek for the kiss, and he said, "On the lips." His little hands
turned my face back to his. I puckered up my lips for the kiss.
And then he stuck his tongue in my mouth!

I was shocked! I pulled my face away from his.

"What are you doing?"
"Kissing you."
"You do not put your tongue in someone's mouth!"
"Yes you do."
"No, it's not right."
"That's how you kiss."
"Who told you that?"
"Tori's brother. He showed me how."

OK, so I didn't actually scream, but I wanted to. Kids will
be kids. Tori's brother was four, so it's not like it was a
crime or anything. But it took a lot of persuading to convince
my boy that all people do not kiss by jamming their tongues
into each others mouths.

I guess I'm just glad it wasn't some hillbilly relative that
taught him.


  • At 1:10 AM, Blogger Misha said…

    Haha oh damn, that would come as a bit of a shock. It's amazing what kids pick up on and then impart to their friends.

  • At 11:53 PM, Blogger Rachel Croucher said…

    I had a major crush on this guy when I was 15 or 16 and I barely knew him, until one day when he approached me to tell me "hey Rachel, did you know that we are related?"

    All feelings died that moment


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