Redneck Review

Saturday, April 23, 2005

They'll do it every time!

Have your kids ever embarrassed you? Of course they have.
That's their mission in life.

When my first son was around 2 years old, I had to take him
on a trip to the license office. This is no fun for an adult, so
imagine this little kid having to stand in line at a counter that is
higher than his head, nothing interesting in sight.

I was trying to get a license for a trailer, but didn't have a title
because the owner was deceased. Of course this took quite
a while, and my boy was growing more restless by the minute.
He did a few laps around my legs, pulled on my arm whining
"Let's goooooo!" and kicked at the counter for awhile.

Then he developed an interest in the man at the line next to
us. The guy was wearing jeans and white high-tops, and
a wife-beater white undershirt. Typical attire for the license
office in Redneckland.

Problem Child pulled away from me and sidled over to
this guy and looked up at him. Then he lifted his left leg and
STOMPED on the guy's white high-topped foot. I reached
over and yanked him back into my line, telling the guy,

"It's OK." He went back to talking to the worker.

This was when state and federal offices were pushing voter
registration. The guy finished his transaction, and the worker
asked, "Are you registered to vote, sir?"

"I can't register to vote, Ma'am. I'm a convicted felon."

And the moral to this story is.....leave the kids with Grandma
when you go to the license office.


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